Vulnerability is something that does not come easy to many people. I know this because I have tried to be vulnerable for many many years. From Brene Brown's work we all know that vulnerability enables us to be much more authentic and give more back to those who love and care for us, as well as those who we work with. We also know that being vulnerable is hard.
Most people have been hurt at some point in their life, and the difficulty to be vulnerable seems to stem from that. It could be that you have been hurt in a relationship, at work, by family, with money, whatever it is try to understand the impact that vulnerability is having on your growth is important.
Professor Brené Brown, a research at the University of Houston and expert on vulnerability and shame, did a qualitative research where she asked her participants to finish the following sentence: “Vulnerability is ________.”
In her book, “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead”, she shares some of the answers she received: “starting my own business; calling a friend whose child just passed away; trying something new; getting pregnant after having three miscarriages; admitting I’m afraid; having faith.”
After reading this, Professor Brown said “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.”
So, if the vulnerability is in fact courage, can it be beneficial? Of course, it can.
Vulnerability helps to build intimacy in relationships, increases self worth, helps with motivation, promotes compassion, accountability, and less feeling alone.
Despite all of the virtues of vulnerability it has been very difficult for me to really engage with being vulnerable. However, I have spent much of my adult life working on my personal and professional growth. I do this because it enables me to enjoy life more and do work that I love; and it enables me to have tools to support others.
If you have been part of my community for a while (or even a few minutes hehe!) You know that of course I will encourage anybody (and everybody) to start working on themselves, whatever stage or state of life they are in.
Because if you don’t do the work, you stay still.
And stillness is great in some situations… but it is debilitating when you are trying to make progress.
I am not sure what happened but in the last few months I have been able to step into my own skin in a way that I have not been able to do before. This has required a great deal of courage, vulnerability, tears, tears, and hardship. I have found being vulnerable one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Brackets a bit like parenting to be honest!
I encourage you to invest a small amount of time in assessing how you can be more vulnerable whilst being totally authentic to who you are. By doing this you will live more in alignment with who you are, and you will no doubt be experiencing more joy in the long run. You may find that in the interim you suffer a little bit, but know that at the end of the suffering is the opportunity to grow and be stronger. As my coach and mentor Brendon Burchard says "honour the struggle."
How To Be Vulnerable
I know and appreciate that this will be hard. But know that because you are here reading this post and because you are now part of my extended global family I will do my best to support you.
I invite you to write below one thing you are going to do in order to be more vulnerable so that you can be more authentic and show the world who you truly are.
This is an invitation for you to stop trying to be somebody else, to recognise the God-given skills and talents that you have and to finally decide to do the most important thing in your life and that is to be you.
I have always known that vulnerability is important but I was in denial. Being in denial is probably the biggest challenge that you will face. Being in denial for anything is the biggest challenge that you will face in your life.
So acknowledging that vulnerability is ok and that asking for help, being who you really are, crying, showing your fear, is all OK.
Heroes and people who appear to be superhuman are only that way because they seek help, there is a huge lesson in this for us.
Go and become your own hero