This is ME. Who are YOU?

26weeksofgrowth Jul 01, 2019

As Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand once said ‘enough is enough,’ 'no more tears.'

Right now I am both annoyed with myself, and a little relieved. 

I have spent almost 50 years of my life trying to be ‘normal,’ be a people pleaser, prioritise others over me, be like others, copy others, listen to others advice and comments, and not do the thing that my core was yelling at me to do. 

I have no idea what sparked the change but something has happened in the last week and I am now stepping into my skin. 

Look, don’t get me wrong. I know I am not perfect. But that pivot from feeling insecure all the time and not liking myself all the time is pretty electrifying. Of course I still have (regular) thoughts where I think I’m too old, too young, too fat, too insecure, too stupid, too whatever you want it to be. 

But in the last few days I have realised that when I am ME and only ME I am able to step into my God given super powers

And (like you) I have a few of those. 

I know that my intuition is strong.

I can knock out a pretty powerful email in a few minutes that is gentle and robust, compassionate and challenging, and gets the results needed to diffuse situations.

I also know that when I am on your side you are able to move mountains and navigate difficult terrain. 

(Yes, I love me an adventure into the unknown. Always have)

I also know that I can be a little OCD about noise when I am really trying to concentrate. 

I LOVE myself a good cup of coffee a little too much

And I haven’t achieved enough in my hobby of collecting nice pieces of jewelry. 

I know I am also OCD about people having good character and about fairness. 

You might find it hard to find me because I am always immersed in a book or learning about human potential, high performance or behavioural psychology.

I am a reluctant academic, but I need to know the evidence behind why things work so I will go there. 

I love finding out about people’s lived experience and the subtle nuances that make life interesting. 

I am very eclectic in my teachers, food taste, reading, travel, and experience. 

I love a 5* -- or even 7* hotel - not been to one of those yet -- but I also love camping and roughing it a little. 

I’m just as happy eating in a top notch restaurant as I am in a greasy spoon cafe

I MAY LOOK LIKE AN IMMIGRANT, BUT I am clearly British -- a Londoner born and bred -- despite my outward appearance of an immigrant. 

I have a few simple preferences in life:

  • High heel shoes. Show me a good kitten heel and I’ll buy it tomorrow. These are the best gifts. 
  • I LOVE Sanctuary products… anything and everything. 
  • I prioritise comfort and convenience over cultural expectations. Yes, I have been to a formal event with a T shirt and ¾ leggings under my posh abaya (long dress) and designer flip flops. 

I could go on but I’d rather now focus on you. 

This is also something about me… I am comfortable talking about me, but I’d much rather know about you and help you. Sometimes this means I offer advice even when its not requested. If that was you, i am sorry, if you ask promise I won't do it again! 

Why is it important to embrace who you are? 

We all know that when we try to be something we are not we end up failing ourselves. 

Not allowing yourself to be you is the biggest form of oppression you can do to anyone.

When you are not you, fully you, you are not allowing those close to you (as well as the world) to benefit from your knowledge, wisdom, wit, and all other wonderful things. 

There is no point in pretending to be something else. That pretence is hard work, and it’s not worth it. 

What often happens is we mirror others. We mirror others thoughts, behaviours, and attitudes. 

This is the price that this has cost me...

  • Creating the most amazing courses and only teaching them once or twice (because one of my teachers said that they get bored when they teach a course too many times!)
  • Working on projects I didn’t want to but others were doing it.
  • Not learning from certain teachers because they were inappropriate or too far out there. 

What has mirroring cost you?

Take a moment to reflect or write in your journal on this. 

My 3 top tips for You to be You are:

  • Be careful who you spend time with.
  • Become conscious of who you are mirroring (online and in the flesh)
  • Decide to be you. 

But you know there were also sometimes where I decided to be me and rocked the status quo and didn’t go with convention. Below is what I gained.

What happened when I decided to be me...

  • An education which was my life line out of poverty
  • Marrying the right person (and still saying that 17 years later!)
  • Leaving a highly successful career in local government to create another one on my terms where I prioritise myself and my family
  • My freedom - freedom of thought, freedom of what to wear, freedom of where to live, freedom of when to work… the only thing I’m still looking for is the holy grail of freedom of what to eat!

If you have made it this far, I want to invite you to decide to take back control of your life and become who you are. Who are you? Who are you really?

Make. That. Decision. Now. 

BE YOU! 

Because i know that you are awesome and amazing. And I hope one day we get to meet… and I hope you get to meet your amazing authentic self today!

Saiyyidah x

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