The Space

18 — breathe — 5 arguments

Jan 21, 2024

How is it possible that seven days can be so long and so short at the same time? Sometimes even the weekend doesn't feel like the weekend, right? The third week of January felt like a catapult into 2024! 

On Saturday I attended an event where the Mary Oliver quote was discussed: 

“We shake with joy,

we shake with grief.

What a time they have,

these two housed

as they are

in the same body.”

For the last few weeks I have been reflecting about a big change that is happening in my family. Today I am now the mother of two adults: my son is 18. Of course it is a huge celebration for him and it is for me too. As he transitions into adulthood, he exits from being a child. I'm not sure why but I feel more responsibility being the parent of two adults! 

— Within all of this my son and I are in a parallel process of transition, transformation, identity change, loss, and surrendering. 

— Within all of this is both grief and joy — they are in the same body. 

— Within all of this is the opportunity to find another version of ourselves. 

When I am on a journey of exploration that takes a lot of energy and effort I find focusing on my breath really helps.

This poem by Becky Hemsley is delicious... it helps me slow down...

And here you can experience it more fully...

What is it that we are trying to do with creating space and breathing? 

What happens when you have no expectations?

No restrictions.

What happens when you simply breathe?




In the space that we create between the weekend and the week, and the week and the weekend we might be wishing to stretch — or speed up — time; we might not wish to be guided in the way that our life is taking us; we might wish... 

(the space is there for you to fill that gap...)




'Saiyyidah, where is reference to the washing up you mentioned last week?'

I recently came across a great book called Five Arguments All Couples (Need To) Have by Joanna Harrison, a divorce lawyer who retrained as a counsellor. This article provides a good outline. It certainly helped me in how to deal with tension and little niggles that naturally occur with people who are close. 

This is part of the true self that I am,

one that wants to draw attention to the truth,

and to address the niggles. 

Reflecting again makes me wonder how can I have the right kind of arguments with myself? 

I give you the same invitations:

— Look for where you can bring more of yourself in

— Where are your niggles? Pick one and give it a little attention

— And then forget about it. You have started to do the work... the rest will unravel and heal and resolve in the background as you go about your day to day! 

Why not go back and listen to the breathe poem above again? All you need to do is hit play on the video. It is only 90 seconds long. Closing your eyes when  you listen. Imagine it is helping you in transition, to slow down, and to discover more of yourself. 

I'd love to hear your tips and ideas for what you do to manage the space between transitions and change, how do you sit in the paradox of joy and grief, how do you deal with niggles?  

I'd love to know.


Until next week, all my best,


The Space


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