The Space

going against the grain

May 12, 2024

A few days ago I was in a large French supermarket in Essaouria, Morocco and I saw a couple (who I assume were together based on the way they were interacting with eachother) that had sat in front of me on the same flight. We were walking towards the tills to pay. One of them caught my eye and I nodded in acknowledgement and said hello. They smiled back. 

About five minutes later as I left the supermarket I noticed I'd just missed two taxis to take me back to the apartment. So I stood and waited for the next taxi to come along. The couple walked past me to a car an we smiled at each other again - my expectation was that they might join the queue with me. I looked around wondering if I should walk back to the flat as it was only a 25 minute walk. But the sun was shining and I like watching the day go by... 

The car with the couple pulled up in front of me. 'Where are you going? Would you like a lift?' 

'Its only three minutes away, near Ocean Vagabond' I said

'Thats on our way, hop in.'

This couple were going to drive past my apartment anyway so It wasn't an inconvenience for them. 

In the short drive we exchanged details, shared some tips, and got to know each other a bit better. 

Showing kindness to other human's is known to bring multiple benefits  it increases a sense of belonging and connection, reduces loneliness, makes you feel good, and can improve your self-esteem.... and it is free. 

But why is smiling at someone, saying hello, or offering a lift to someone going against the grain

I wanted to refresh my understanding of that phrase and to explain what it means in this piece. I find it fascinating... 

'it is very difficult for you to accept it or do it, because it conflicts with your previous ideas, beliefs, or principles.'

How many things do we know are the right thing to do yet we still create conflict, or discomfort, within ourselves as we do them? Sometimes we might even ignore our instincts? 

How many things do we not do because it conflicts with previous ideas, beliefs, or principles?

How much do we hold ourselves back when we desire to go against the grain?

And imagine how our lives would be if we listened to our intuition more and went against the grain?

I think that the idea of going against the grain to do something right is perhaps what enables and enhances the opportunity to intuitively do a random act of kindness... without even knowing it until afterwards... 

How might you, where might you, when might you, go 'against the grain' this week to do something that you know feels right but is not the norm? It's a bit like me speaking to random people in London!

PS  next week I will be writing to you from a retreat that I am participating in and part facilitating. 

Have a great week.

All my best,



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